it's funny how a person's perspective can change so easily.

last night i went to my mentor's house for dinner. there were a bunch of us - 1st years, 2nd years, 3 years, and an intern. hearing about the experiences of some of my colleagues, i couldn't wait to get my chance to see it all. one guy said two of his patients are deteriorating. and with regards to that my mentor said that he may be able to see a resuscitation. with all the times we've practised life support on mannequins, i was thinking that'd be so cool.

then i received an email from my mother. she and my brother had just attended the funeral for one of the ah-yi's from when i was little. our families were so close back then. her two sons were like older brothers to me. she even took me to Chucky Cheese when it wasn't anyone's birthday. i also had her as a Chinese school teacher in grade 6.

it appears to have been unexpected, as she died from a brain aneurysm. she was at work when she started to get dizzy, then lost her vision. Geez! how easily could that have been my own mother. they're about the same age and everything. this is the stuff i'm afraid of - being far away from home, i feel so helpless about it all.

it's funny being in medicine. all these weird things that can happen are really exciting to doctors. whereas to normal people they're absolutely heartbreaking. life's going to be interesting.