stressin' out

the other night i had a dream/nightmare. okay, not really sure if it really counts as a nightmare, but it was pretty freaky.

i was in some hotel in Toronto with my mom. for some reason, there was a lot of white crap stuck all over my left eye. so i was in front of the mirror, removing these plaque-like pieces, possibly with tweezers. accidentally, i poke my eyeball, but think nothing of it. after some seconds, i realize that i had punctured my eye and it's bleeding.

covering my eye, i rush over to my mom and say, "you need to take me to the hospital, RIGHT NOW." she seems somewhat preoccupied but agrees, yet doesn't make a move to get ready. i rush over somewhere to grab a bucket and my healthcard. i have the bucket clutched to my chest to collect all the blood that is now gushing from my eye socket. i now notice that my eyeball has deflated, flowed out of the socket, and is now floating in the bucket.

freaking out on the inside, but still relatively calm, i go back to my mom and say, "we need to go NOW." she's still preoccupied with who knows what, so i say, "Fine! i'll just take myself," and head out of the suite.

now in the hallway, there are two sets of elevators. one for staff only and one for guests. of course, the staff elevator comes first. i struggle with the idea of taking it, but alas, i'm not staff, so i just wait for the guest one. i get on.

that's about all i can remember from it. the punctured eye part has really freaked me out. i feel like wearing my glasses 24/7 just for an extra layer of protection.

i got my classmate to interpret the dream for me:

eyeballs/eyesight = fundamental thing in my life; what we're studying right now (in fact, what i studied before going to bed that night)
eyeball injury = something fundamental in my life is not there to support me as it should be

my mom = something comforting in my life.

so I don't know about my friend and her mom, but my mother is not quite a comforting factor in my life. even in the dream, she doesn't seem to be doing anything to help me.

i think she is my broken eyeball.

something did recently happen with my mom, and without going into specifics, i seriously feel like she's pulled the rug from right out under me. i had thought/hoped that with half a globe between us, my mom and i could get along in at least a semi-functional manner, but i guess it's not meant to be. funny how dreams work.

on another note, i've been dating Fred for a year now - my longest relationship ever!